What Is A Man? A Miserable Pile Of Flaws.
I saw this posted on Facebook at one point this year. Usually I see a list like this and am happy that I do most of the things advised, but for this particular image something really struck me as terrifying:

I was guilty of being at the wrong end of all six of those things.
It really struck a nerve with me and made me realize why I probably spend the majority of my life being depressed and hating myself, which is a particularly unhealthy way to live when you are a public figure in the Fighting Game Community. I've always said that to be a commentator, one of the first requirements to have is a thick skin... which is funny because that's the one thing I definitely do not have.
I constantly contemplate quitting the commentator role because of the negativity I've received, and believe you me I probably get more negativity than the majority of commentators out there. I can't even link friends and family to YouTube videos of me commentating to show them what I enjoy doing because there are some really terrible things being said about me in the comments sections. And many times it's not even negativity about my commentary, but negative things directly about me. I've contemplated quitting even as recent as last week.
But by quitting, I'm basically falling prey to disobeying all 6 of those pieces of advice. So I've been thinking long and hard about this, and it's prompted me to write up this post. And no, I'm not going to try and garner sympathy from my haters with this post. I'm not going down the "woe is me" path anymore. What reading those 6 pieces of advice above made me realize is that I can't derive my own self worth from what people think of me. So instead of trying to garner sympathy from people, I'm going to do the exact opposite here.
Because I'm NOT quitting.
First of all, to all the people who do constantly shit on me and say negative things about me and my commentary, I'm giving you all a big collective "Fuck you," for the first time in my life. I'm not saying this because I hate all of you, I'm saying this because I'm no longer going to let you bring me down anymore. I don't care what you the haters think: I still do this commentary shit better than most commentators out there. I have a ton of people who tell me all the time that they appreciate my commentary very much, that they are glad someone out there tries to appeal to the people who don't know the games extremely well, that they learn a lot from watching matches that I commentate, that half the time they can't understand the game at all unless myself and David are doing commentary, etc. Every new venue I go to, every time I go to a state or location I've never been, I have a lot of people who thank me and shake my hand and tell me that I'm doing a lot of good for the FGC. Many even say they wouldn't even have cared about the FGC if it weren't for some of the things I've done.
Secondly, even having said that, the sheer amount of people out there who shit on me cannot come from nowhere without an actual reason, so I realize there are definitely things I do that annoy the hell out of people. Hell, sometimes I'll rematch a match I've commentated and think, "Holy shit, I sound like a fucking idiot. What on earth was I thinking when I said that?!?" So even though I told you all to fuck off, that's not actually the case. In fact...
I actually want to apologize to every one of you that I've ever made watching a stream an unbearable activity.
See, I started doing commentary for no other reason than to try and bring more people into the FGC and to improve commentary in general. So if I've done the opposite for you, I'm sorry. One of the most important things to do as a commentator is to realize where your weaknesses lie and continue to try and improve. It's no different than playing Street Fighter itself: you have to really analyze what you are doing to get better.
And so to all the people who hate me, instead of ignoring them or pretending their opinions don't matter, I'm going to do the opposite now. I'm tired of this whole, "If you have haters, you're doing something right," line of thinking. I use that too much to shield myself from actual critical opinions that are 100% valid. It just happens that these criticisms come from people on the internet, which allows them to critique in ways that are far more harsh than they would be if said in person. I mean, come on, we've all done this. I myself have wanted certain NBA coaches to die in fires, to have a commentator or two of national sports telecasts to shut the hell up, etc. But I never actually mean it as harshly as it comes out.
So what I'm going to do is here is ask everyone, especially the haters, to let me know what I can do to improve as a commentator. Tell me what problems you have with me, and I hope you can be as constructive as possible, especially when you know you are speaking directly to me. And please don't tell me the things I can't fix. Don't tell me my voice sucks (I know), don't tell me I'm fat (I know), don't tell me I'm stupid (I'm not). Don't tell me you hate my jokes (I could change this but... why? Being yourself is the most important thing you can do as a commentator and, frankly, humor is highly subjective. Even so, I've definitely toned down the number of bad jokes and puns I make nowadays -- I only made one bad pun at Capcom Cup, and it wasn't during a match). Don't tell me I don't know Marvel, because I know I don't, and you'll notice I've purposefully avoided Marvel commentary the past few months as much as possible.
Instead, tell me things I can change that I CAN work on.
For example, I know I ramble. I'm gonna try and keep that more in check now. I've already worked on it, interrupting myself at times to just say, "...but I'll talk about that later." I know people think I'm constantly wrong about things and say factually incorrect things. I do, but dammit everyone does. I can't watch a stream where the commentators aren't wrong about something constantly, but that "trait" has become associated specifically with me so people notice it most when I do it and have learned to ignore whenever I say things that are correct. I know I go off on a lot of randomly stupid tangents because that's just how my thought process flows, and that's something I really need to quell.
Again, give me stuff I can work with. I'll promise try to fix it. Hell, Tweet me live during commentary about stuff I do badly so I have context and can try and fix it from that point forward. I've fixed lots of things people have told me in the past (but I still can't seem to stop adding "there" and "here" and "right now" and stuff to the ends of my sentences, which I am conscious of and trying to stop... sorry, Adam). I don't know a lot of the things I do that piss people off, so, if you tell me, I can try my best to fix it.
I'm not big on resolutions, but in 2014 my goal is to really do what I can to make the FGC a better place. I have a lot of ideas and plans for making us PROUD to be a part of the FGC this year by finding ways to appreciate who we are and finding ways to fix our faults. But I can't do that unless I'm willing to fix my own flaws, so, as cliche as this sounds, I'm starting with the man in the mirror. So I've given you guys an open forum here:
Let me know why you think I suck as a commentator in the comments below. I've even enabled Anonymous posts.
It's gonna be painful, this will not be a fun process for someone who reacts poorly to criticisms. But I'm going to do this and I'd rather get it all here, right now, and let everyone know I intend to fix and change my flaws. It always seems that, without declaring this publicly, people assume you're never changing and will continue to hate on you even if you stop doing the things they hate. Hopefully if they know I'm actively trying to fix the problems, they'll give me a second chance. In fact, Retweet the link to this to the people who aren't following me so that those who dislike me can come and leave comments.
That's my New Year's Resolution and I'll talk more about my ideas as the year goes along. Again, I have a lot of ideas brewing in my head on what we can do to make the FGC an awesome place to be and not the media dumping grounds that we always are. I'm going to try my best to use my position and make a more positive environment for us. And no, I'm not going to do this by ignoring the negatives of the FGC, not at all. I'm not gonna pretend the FGC is amazing because "if we have haters, we must be doing something right." In fact, it's better that we address all the negatives, focus on them, and try to figure out ways to fix them.
And I'm starting with myself because I'm not going anywhere in 2014. Not yet.
Now. Enough talk. Have at you.
And Happy New Years, everyone.
- James "jchensor" Chen

I was guilty of being at the wrong end of all six of those things.
It really struck a nerve with me and made me realize why I probably spend the majority of my life being depressed and hating myself, which is a particularly unhealthy way to live when you are a public figure in the Fighting Game Community. I've always said that to be a commentator, one of the first requirements to have is a thick skin... which is funny because that's the one thing I definitely do not have.
I constantly contemplate quitting the commentator role because of the negativity I've received, and believe you me I probably get more negativity than the majority of commentators out there. I can't even link friends and family to YouTube videos of me commentating to show them what I enjoy doing because there are some really terrible things being said about me in the comments sections. And many times it's not even negativity about my commentary, but negative things directly about me. I've contemplated quitting even as recent as last week.
But by quitting, I'm basically falling prey to disobeying all 6 of those pieces of advice. So I've been thinking long and hard about this, and it's prompted me to write up this post. And no, I'm not going to try and garner sympathy from my haters with this post. I'm not going down the "woe is me" path anymore. What reading those 6 pieces of advice above made me realize is that I can't derive my own self worth from what people think of me. So instead of trying to garner sympathy from people, I'm going to do the exact opposite here.
Because I'm NOT quitting.
First of all, to all the people who do constantly shit on me and say negative things about me and my commentary, I'm giving you all a big collective "Fuck you," for the first time in my life. I'm not saying this because I hate all of you, I'm saying this because I'm no longer going to let you bring me down anymore. I don't care what you the haters think: I still do this commentary shit better than most commentators out there. I have a ton of people who tell me all the time that they appreciate my commentary very much, that they are glad someone out there tries to appeal to the people who don't know the games extremely well, that they learn a lot from watching matches that I commentate, that half the time they can't understand the game at all unless myself and David are doing commentary, etc. Every new venue I go to, every time I go to a state or location I've never been, I have a lot of people who thank me and shake my hand and tell me that I'm doing a lot of good for the FGC. Many even say they wouldn't even have cared about the FGC if it weren't for some of the things I've done.
Secondly, even having said that, the sheer amount of people out there who shit on me cannot come from nowhere without an actual reason, so I realize there are definitely things I do that annoy the hell out of people. Hell, sometimes I'll rematch a match I've commentated and think, "Holy shit, I sound like a fucking idiot. What on earth was I thinking when I said that?!?" So even though I told you all to fuck off, that's not actually the case. In fact...
I actually want to apologize to every one of you that I've ever made watching a stream an unbearable activity.
See, I started doing commentary for no other reason than to try and bring more people into the FGC and to improve commentary in general. So if I've done the opposite for you, I'm sorry. One of the most important things to do as a commentator is to realize where your weaknesses lie and continue to try and improve. It's no different than playing Street Fighter itself: you have to really analyze what you are doing to get better.
And so to all the people who hate me, instead of ignoring them or pretending their opinions don't matter, I'm going to do the opposite now. I'm tired of this whole, "If you have haters, you're doing something right," line of thinking. I use that too much to shield myself from actual critical opinions that are 100% valid. It just happens that these criticisms come from people on the internet, which allows them to critique in ways that are far more harsh than they would be if said in person. I mean, come on, we've all done this. I myself have wanted certain NBA coaches to die in fires, to have a commentator or two of national sports telecasts to shut the hell up, etc. But I never actually mean it as harshly as it comes out.
So what I'm going to do is here is ask everyone, especially the haters, to let me know what I can do to improve as a commentator. Tell me what problems you have with me, and I hope you can be as constructive as possible, especially when you know you are speaking directly to me. And please don't tell me the things I can't fix. Don't tell me my voice sucks (I know), don't tell me I'm fat (I know), don't tell me I'm stupid (I'm not). Don't tell me you hate my jokes (I could change this but... why? Being yourself is the most important thing you can do as a commentator and, frankly, humor is highly subjective. Even so, I've definitely toned down the number of bad jokes and puns I make nowadays -- I only made one bad pun at Capcom Cup, and it wasn't during a match). Don't tell me I don't know Marvel, because I know I don't, and you'll notice I've purposefully avoided Marvel commentary the past few months as much as possible.
Instead, tell me things I can change that I CAN work on.
For example, I know I ramble. I'm gonna try and keep that more in check now. I've already worked on it, interrupting myself at times to just say, "...but I'll talk about that later." I know people think I'm constantly wrong about things and say factually incorrect things. I do, but dammit everyone does. I can't watch a stream where the commentators aren't wrong about something constantly, but that "trait" has become associated specifically with me so people notice it most when I do it and have learned to ignore whenever I say things that are correct. I know I go off on a lot of randomly stupid tangents because that's just how my thought process flows, and that's something I really need to quell.
Again, give me stuff I can work with. I'll promise try to fix it. Hell, Tweet me live during commentary about stuff I do badly so I have context and can try and fix it from that point forward. I've fixed lots of things people have told me in the past (but I still can't seem to stop adding "there" and "here" and "right now" and stuff to the ends of my sentences, which I am conscious of and trying to stop... sorry, Adam). I don't know a lot of the things I do that piss people off, so, if you tell me, I can try my best to fix it.
I'm not big on resolutions, but in 2014 my goal is to really do what I can to make the FGC a better place. I have a lot of ideas and plans for making us PROUD to be a part of the FGC this year by finding ways to appreciate who we are and finding ways to fix our faults. But I can't do that unless I'm willing to fix my own flaws, so, as cliche as this sounds, I'm starting with the man in the mirror. So I've given you guys an open forum here:
Let me know why you think I suck as a commentator in the comments below. I've even enabled Anonymous posts.
It's gonna be painful, this will not be a fun process for someone who reacts poorly to criticisms. But I'm going to do this and I'd rather get it all here, right now, and let everyone know I intend to fix and change my flaws. It always seems that, without declaring this publicly, people assume you're never changing and will continue to hate on you even if you stop doing the things they hate. Hopefully if they know I'm actively trying to fix the problems, they'll give me a second chance. In fact, Retweet the link to this to the people who aren't following me so that those who dislike me can come and leave comments.
That's my New Year's Resolution and I'll talk more about my ideas as the year goes along. Again, I have a lot of ideas brewing in my head on what we can do to make the FGC an awesome place to be and not the media dumping grounds that we always are. I'm going to try my best to use my position and make a more positive environment for us. And no, I'm not going to do this by ignoring the negatives of the FGC, not at all. I'm not gonna pretend the FGC is amazing because "if we have haters, we must be doing something right." In fact, it's better that we address all the negatives, focus on them, and try to figure out ways to fix them.
And I'm starting with myself because I'm not going anywhere in 2014. Not yet.
Now. Enough talk. Have at you.
And Happy New Years, everyone.
- James "jchensor" Chen